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If you could sum up The Masked Man in three words, what would they be? Unusual, funny, satisfying. What did you like best about this story? I really enjoyed the self-deprecating humor, the complete truth telling, as well as the unusual literary device of the "One Ranger. Which character — as performed by Tom Wilson — was your favorite?

The "One Ranger", but all of his characterizations are spot-on and really liven up the audio experience. Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you? I appreciated the ending. I was skeptical following him through the journey and wondered how it would all get resolved. A great finish and I think fans of the movie, of the actor, and of good memoirs will really enjoy this.

Tom Wilson has written a wonderful account of his time as an actor with some fun fantasy as he realizes what he has really been searching for What made the experience of listening to The Masked Man the most enjoyable? I especially loved all of the personal stories of encounters with famous hollywood types and comedians. Tom's recollection of "incidents" and how they occurred is outstanding and interesting.

The Sam Kinison stuff is quite amusing. What other book might you compare The Masked Man to and why? None that I have read, or listened to. I'm not familiar with any other book that weaves a fantasy story with actual life events like this book does. Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting? It was very easy to listen to this book in long sessions and I looked forward to the times when I could do so. Any additional comments? Tom is a very interesting person, and you will learn so much more about him and what made him the man he is today.

When you figure out that he's pretty much the complete opposite of his meat-headed most famous character, Biff, you will see that he is a caring, talented and intellectual family man, comedian, voice actor and all around nice person. Fans of Back to the Future will enjoy the occasional behind-the-scenes insights. See, kids? I will provide a copy of the filtered logs as soon as I can. Client requests a private video-chat. He switches the TV off and turns back to the web-cam. I remove my shirt and ask if he wants me to rub baby-oil on my breasts. I was SO fucking bored. He resends the request and I tell him to activate his camera first.

He does so, revealing a kitten in a cardboard box. After a beat, the masked man leans into frame, holding a lit blow-torch. The request appears in chat a third time and I quickly begin to undress. He switches the blow-torch off and then lifts the box containing the kitten, revealing a scarred wooden table on which the masked man then sits, balancing the box on his knees as he begins to undo his pants. I scowl at the fucker and yank down my panties. The masked man begins to masturbate as the kitten peaks its head out of the box and meows at him.

Client is a regular, which is the only way I accept private video-chats anymore. I open the video-chat to see the client seated behind the desk in his home-office just as always but there is something off about him. For the longest time he just sits there, forcing a smile as he stares at me. The masked man stands and uses the prod to pin him to the floor. He continues shocking the client until his flesh begins to smoke and the masked man climaxes.

I fucking quit. It was a great job until this motherfucker but you know what? I might as well go back to stripping. At least there they have bouncers to deal with these creeps. Glancing out at the complex, I see that the units across from mine also have bars on their windows and their doors have been boarded over. The building is shaped like a horseshoe with a large courtyard containing a pool and several communal picnic stations at its center.

I scan the courtyard, searching for some clue as to why my apartment complex was suddenly one giant fire-hazard. It looks like… arms. And legs. One of them, a sweet old lady named Linda, spots me in the window and her mouth falls open. Linda frantically shakes her head and mouths something at me, which prompts the guy seated at the table to turn and follow her gaze up to my window.

As I back away from the window, I finally register the series of strange noises coming from somewhere inside my apartment and growing louder by the second. I grab my laptop and phone and barricade myself inside the walk-in closet in my bedroom. Which means simply knowing that he exists is like painting a target on your back. It gives him a way to find you. Those poor dismembered bastards outside? They all have one thing in common.

At some point, I had mentioned the masked man to each of them. If my theory ends up panning out, then I am seriously sorry. How awesome is that? He says my writing is vital to the cause and now I guess we both know why. I mean, could you imagine? Followed by a question:. I understand. People change. There will always be a place for you in my heart but you have to let me go. I had turned the volume up to hear Alice and when the static suddenly cut back in, it startled me so much that I nearly swerved off the road.

Which is, of course, always a good sign. Looking at how the buildings were positioned, I assumed that my destination was a warehouse located behind a long strip-mall. And it seemed as if I had guessed right. There were a couple of electronics outlets too, a few sporting-goods stores, etc. All of them were closed and, from the looks of it, had been for quite some time. I was almost on top of my destination now. I looked back at the road and reflexively slammed on my breaks as the final strip-mall came into view. Mystery, himself. Care to guess what he looked like?

You have a basic understanding of how to utilize narrative clues. Call your dad. Tell him he was wrong. You ARE good for something.


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On a related note, it was at this point that I became almost certain I was on the right track. I was about to pull into Mr. I pulled into the abandoned gas station, which was half a block down from Mr.

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Then I realized there was a very real chance I would be running for my life when I left here and that it was probably best if my car were parked as close as possible. Stevie Wonder? As a compromise I passed up Mr. I even backed into the space so that my car was facing the exit.

Keeping my eyes on the adult arcade, I pulled the gun from the back of my waistband and checked the magazine to make sure it was loaded. I let out a deep breath and then switched off the safety. This is when, for the second time in less than two weeks, I found myself having a genuine moment of personal introspection while sitting in a parked car with a loaded gun in my hand.

And it dawned on me then that I was bad at learning from mistakes. But you know what? Not this time. I dialed I put the phone to my ear as the line started to ring, which was weird because the ring had sort of an echo to it. Probably just the terrible reception out here. It rang again and this time the echo sounded like it was coming from the backseat of my car. I lowered the cell as a third ring, clear as day, sounded from my backseat. I was too stunned to react as the masked man grabbed me by my hair and clamped a damp foul-smelling rag over my nose and mouth.

So this is what chloroform smelled like? I held my breath and fought against the initial wave of wooziness long enough to reach a hand back and yank off his mask. The last thing I saw before my vision became one big blur was the reflection of a familiar face in my rearview mirror. The first thing that came back was my sense of smell.

My sinuses were still lined with the stink of chloroform. It was awful.

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Like it was all just…. The first five minutes of consciousness felt like an hour. I could barely keep my eyes open. No response from my limbs. All I could smell or taste or feel or see or think was the god-awful scent of chloroform. I forced my eyes open out of sheer spite. I wanted to look this sick bastard in his face when I told him to go fuck himself. Everything was still blurry but I got the gist: I was tied to a chair. After a few moments of concentration, I was able to focus my eyes enough to glare at Jay. Oh well, as they say… Hindsight is a bitch.

Unfortunately for you, what you shot were blanks.

The Masked Man

Jay tilted his head at me in a condescending gesture. Especially one involving a creative, attractive, vulnerable girl specifically designed to make you fall in love with the mere idea of her. She lets me watch. I glanced around what appeared to be a break room and saw nothing particularly nefarious looking; jut a kitchenette, the table I was sitting at, and an old pre flat-screen television mounted to the corner of one wall. Near the door was a hand-dolly with a stack of small brightly-colored boxes.

The picture on the boxes was of….

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I continued to struggle against the ropes, this time even more frantically. The chair began to tip back and I tried to force my weight forward but the ropes held me in place as the chair crashed to the floor. I banged my head pretty hard but was thankfully still a bit numb from the chloroform. I blinked and my vision refocused to reveal a very tall, very muscular, very naked, VERY erect man standing over me. Large, naked, erect Toby positioned himself almost directly over my face and began to crouch down and for a moment it was like Cthulhu coming in for that awkward first-date kiss.

I shut my eyes tight and then started to scream as I felt my chair being gently lifted upright. A moment later, I opened my eyes to find myself now facing a room full of people staring back at me from the laptop. They were all wearing creepy homemade-looking black masks and seated around Jay and Amy in what looked to be a small theater. It was all a test. There you go. Jay sighed as he looked at Randy. I was about to tell him anyway and I was just mad at myself for not sticking the reveal.

Maybe get him something to drink? Would you like a Vitamin Water? I quickly glanced up at his masked face. See, people like us? Jay nodded off screen and suddenly I was looking at Alice through a security camera feed. She was sitting in a small room surrounded by steel doors with tiny windows set into them at eye-level.

Trust me. It will make this next part a whole lot easier. I leaned in close to the screen. A real natural. All you have to do is watch. Though, spoiler alert… With him, rape and murder are sort of a package deal. I exited the break-room and found myself at the back of a dimly-lit warehouse full of porn DVDs and assorted sexual paraphernalia, just as I guessed I would after seeing the inventory on that hand-dolly.

This was the large building behind the adult arcade, which meant I had a good idea where Alice was. I hurried across the warehouse and then into a utility hallway lined with several doors. This one was steel and had a window set into it at eye-level.

Introduction

There she was! I let out a small cheer as I banged on the door, which got her attention. Alice jumped up and hurried to the door. I examined the padlock on the latch holding the door closed and then held a finger up to the window. This is gonna be loud. She pointed to my left and sure enough there was a key right there, hanging from a small hook. I returned the gun to my waistband and unlocked the door. As I pulled it open, Alice pounced on me and gave me the tightest hug I have ever received.

And then we kissed and it was like something out of a movie. I must smell terrible. Find my soul as I go home. Enid nodded again and then stood up. I was suddenly interrupted by the door to the utility hallway slamming open. Enid froze in the doorway of the cell as Alice and I turned to see Toby tearing open the curtain divider to our booth. He grinned as he spotted us, revealing a mouth full of shattered teeth and blood. I pulled the gun from the back of my waistband in the same moment I remembered that it was still loaded with blanks. Enid gasped and quickly pulled the steel door closed, shutting herself inside the cell.

I pulled Alice behind me and backed us into a narrow corner beside the door. I held the gun out in front of me as Toby charged at us. This was it. I was about to be mauled to death by a giant naked madman while my girlfriend watched. Hell of an obituary though. And then, just as Toby was about to reach us, the steel door suddenly flew back open just in time to nail him square in the face.